Wittman and His Elbow Thrown in Cornell Jail

Check yo’ self | Junior Ryan Wittman’s eyes have been known to turn red when he’s angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

M.Basketball Player Brawls in Trillium Wittman caught violently throwing another elbow

Cornell Daily Sun

April 1, 2009

An incident occurred yesterday in Trillium dining when an unsuspecting freshman cut in front of junior men’s basketball forward Ryan Wittman, who was waiting in the cashier line.



The school’s single-season scoring leader, who threw the infamous “Elbow Heard ‘Round the World” in the first round of NCAA tournament, displayed his fiery temper. “Do you know who I am?” Wittman shouted. “I’ve run over defenders bigger than you. You better move to the back of the line if you know what’s good for you.”



Nearly two weeks earlier, Wittman caught Missouri’s Zaire Taylor in the nose with an elbow during the second half of the Red’s firstround loss in the NCAA tournament. After the game, Wittman was unapologetic. “Yea, I knew what I was doing,” Wittman barked. “His nose shouldn’t have gotten in the way of my elbow. It’s like Coach Donahue always says, ‘It’s not a foul if the official isn’t looking.’ Unfortunately, he was looking, but you know what? I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. The ladies love my tough guy persona. Thug life.”



Unfortunately for the freshman, Wittman’s frustration manifested itself yet again in the form of physical brutality. It took about a dozen people, including several teammates, to separate Wittman from the freshman.



When asked about Wittman’s bad temper, senior center Jeff Foote admitted this was not the first time Wittman turned to violence. “We have a nickname for him,” Foote said. “Ragin’ Ryan. He is a resident badass. I still maintain the only reason he gets wide open jump shots is simply because opponents are too afraid to get near him on the court.”



Campus police eventually escorted Wittman out of Trillium, but the 6-6 forward could not be subdued. Wittman vehemently struggled against the police officers’ hold, jumping up and down while simultaneously pounding his chest with his fist. “I’m a bad man!” Wittman shouted. “I’m a bad man!”





(the above article is part of The Cornell Daily Sun's April Fools Day edition)